Tuesday, July 13, 2010

motherhood is boring?







I just read this article about a woman who states her children "bore her to death".

And I get what she is saying. But, she has one crucial point TOTALLY wrong. Because even though mothering children can be, and often is, boring, the children themselves are most certainly not!

There is a crucial difference between the work of mothering (making sandwiches, dressing, bathing, diapering) and being a mother. Though the work is certainly often a lot more tedious than many mothers would admit, the children themselves are not!

Our children are delightful to us because we bother to delight in them. Often, though not always, this delighting walks hand in hand with hard work and tedium. It is dressed up in everydayness, hidden in hard work. This delighting erupts spontaneously in the mundane tasks of motherhood: blowing raspberries on our babies tummies while we dress them. The fit of giggles that follows. The look of love in our little one's eyes as we take care of them, doing for them what the simply cannot do for themselves. And isn’t that in itself, a great honour? Caring for someone utterly dependent?

So far, raising a child is indeed the most difficult and arduous thing I have ever done. But like every other difficult thing I have done I understand this about it: if there's no effort, there's no reward. A lot of things would be “boring” if we didn’t put any time or effort in.

I think if we “work hard” at parenting, we realize this: all the work, all the tedium, all the 'boring parenting' is more than worth it. Because if we take the time and make the effort to delight in our children, we will find them delightful. But if we don't, we won't.

outfit details (what is this, a fashion blog? ;-)

shirt, thrifted: $3
shorts, thrifted: $1
belt, from a skirt
shoes, thrifted: $1
scarf, from Hornby Island: $15
glasses, vera wang, via clearlycontacts.ca

Heart: Kimberellie

“We always get bored with those whom we bore.” Francois de la Rochefoucauld

12 comments:

  1. OK I just read that article...and I sooo wanted to slap that lady across the face...I'm selfish..but compared to her I look quite perfect...and yes motherhood can be quite boring...but Vyla is sooo far from boring..I am entertained by her every day...she's very good at entertaining herself..but I know that I have to be present with her because there are always moments when all she wants is some attention from me. I guess everyone has their different ideas about parenting..but in my opinion that Lady needs some serious help...and not the type of help a Nanny can give..I'm thinking a Shrink!

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  2. What a beautiful post, I have so much admiration for women who raise children, and although I'm way too young to even have to think about kids now, despite the fact that they don't even exist yet I know that I will want to spend time with them more than anyone else in the world. My mum always says that she likes spending time with her kids as the people that they are and for our personalities, and I think that the people who don't try to enjoy their kids company as who their children are will be missing out on so much. I am so glad that other people understand this, because I always find parents who see raising children as a only a chore (of course I am aware it is really tough, I mean the ones who don't see the benefits) really sad. Anyway, sorry for the massively long essay of a comment, and your outfit is lovely! Thanks for making me think!!
    From Carys of La Ville Inconnue

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  3. Scary what kind of parents are out there isn't it? It's all I can do to remind myself that a lot of these type of mother's are just hurt kids themselves. But, then, it's pretty sad when a 30-something year old could be referred to as a kid also. It's just so sad she doesn't realize that answer to her happiness is right in front of her if she would just stop thinking about herself..

    you look adorable btw=)

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  4. That shirt and those shoes are just so sweet!

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  5. Another chic blogger who has mastered the socks trend so well - blast! I'm all Mr. Burns over here twiddling my fingers and plotting: How? How! can I make this trend work for me?

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  6. i know there are some cases where this isn't true... but for the most part i think "boredom" is a cop out. i mean, are people who are bored living on the same planet i am? it's a lame excuse... there is so much to do and see and experience.

    BUT....

    love your outfit, especially the scarf in your hair... i love wearing scarfs in my hair... i mostly do it when i'm too lazy to do anything else, but i love it :)

    and the sandal/sock combo is perfect!

    xo

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  7. What terrible thing to say. I know I would not enjoy raising a child for selfish reasons, and yes, I think I would find the everyday tasks boring and tedious. Therefore I do not plan to have a child. Could this woman not foresee that she might feel this way before deciding to give birth? It continues to amaze me that we need a license for just about everything, yet anyone can reproduce.

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  8. What an awful woman. Why oh why have the commitment of children without investing time and effort into raising them?
    More legs! Fabulous! Love the cheeky scarf and sock combo and I'm certain Soren gets cuter by the day.

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  9. parenting seems to me a full time job, no time to get bored. but i'm not a mom yet so i'll have to take your word for it.
    I love the scarf you're wearing. I remember I used to wear scarfs like that when I was a kid and I pretented to have long long hair :)

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  10. I wish that article was a horrible April Fool's joke. Blah. Can't even clear my head from the indignation to form a cohesive response.

    Regardless, I less than three the socks and shoes combo. The headscarf is great. How do you keep your little guy from pulling it off. :)

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  11. being s full time mom is challenging..but you would have to be a very boring person to find kids boring! I don't think the writer of that article will ever get a chance to realize that. Conversely I do agree that the 'cult of motherhood' expects too much from parents..so their is a grain of truth to the article.
    Love your scarf Kimberly!

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  12. that article made me sad, to say the least, and moderately angry. what a stipulation to put on the women in the world (as if we don't have enough to combat as it is). i can understand monotony is, indeed, boring (which is what she should really be dealing with) but she should be trying to make things exciting rather than blame her children. she made a conscious choice to have a child/children. it is not their fault, and they should not be blamed. adults should protect the innocent, not fault their existence.

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With two children and a tendency to procrastinate, I don't often return comments. But I do appreciate them! So thank you!

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