I'm pretty excited. I'm pretty excited because it seems that no one is paying any attention to my blog anymore. YES, this is an occasion for excitement. Because you see, when people are paying attention I feel beholden to them to well: deliver. You know: the goods. The stuff. The interesting stuff. Outfit photographs, coherent sentences, you know, stuff.
But if no one is paying attention, I don't feel beholden. Instead I feel free. Frickenfantabulastic free! Free to yammer on about whatever I want.
Let's take a step back here. I'll explain,
When I first started blogging I did it because I was full of inane nonsense that needed some sort of outlet. So I figured I would inflict myself upon the world in general. Only, I figured no one would pay attention except a few people who knew me in real life (and they do pay attention...but mostly leave me to my own devices...and I like that about them). But ANYWAY, what happened was OTHER people started paying attention, people I had never met before.
And at first this was awesome. It was awesome because I got to meet new people. And I like that sort of thing. Only, then I felt all obligated to visit their blogs. Which, actually, was also awesome. Because I like reading blogs. Only, then it was just too much. Because suddenly I was a personal style blogger (which I never really intended on becoming) and I had all these blogs I had to look at (because I am unfailingly polite about "visiting back").
And then I had another child. And it really did become too much, too much to do at all. At least too much to do at all in the way I felt I ought to. And then one day I realized I was (barely) maintaining a blog that wasn't any fun for me. I mean, SERIOUSLY, why the HECK would someone do that? It's not like anyone was paying me! And to be perfectly honest, I won't even be paid for something I don't think is fun.
So here I am now to tell you all (you all with zero expectations because no one is listening): that I am glad. I am glad because zero audience means zero expectations means I can get back to where I started and start speaking nonsense into the ether again.
So that's what I am going to do. Here's what you* can expect:
1. Random photographs I like.
2. Maybe some poetry finally (I don't care that no one likes poetry. I like poetry).
3. Lists. I like list, a lot.
4. Thoughts. I have them. They're in my head. I can type them out.
5. Photographs of toys.
6. Photographs of me.
7. Book recommendations.
7. Book recommendations.
Maybe this will evolve into some sort of mommy blog. Or maybe it will continue to be a mostly personal style blog. Or maybe it will just be a personal blog. The point is: I don't care to do what anyone else expects. And I know, I know, the expectations are mostly in my head, not yours.
But I guess I felt like explaining that I am going to veer sharply to the left now, close my eyes, pretend no one is reading, and enjoy myself. Because that, in the end, is what I wanted from the beginning.
*dear husband, if no one else, I know you are reading. And thanks for the tea.
1. Tim Horton's steeped tea, one cream one sugar. It's my drug of choice. Seriously, there is nothing better.
2. One of the best parts of having two children is having them love each other. It's awesome.